I like this man over the internet and I don't want to bother him to much.
I wonder if I do write to him again . If I will push him away. And let him
have space and see what he will do.
I really like him.
He makes me laugh and have not done that much laughing for years.
What do I just waited for him to write.
I don't wanted to push him away. And it is his turn to write to me
I can not go out in the public .
The noise bother me .
And I can come and listen to music
and i can get back to my self .
And pull my self again.
The crows are to much for me .
I am try to come and be on here more.
I did .
i change my hair .
and what i wear .
And go and volurterr at a Nurse home.
And help the older people and then do them fun
and have somee one to go and see on weekends and I think that
be lot of fun.
and do that for couple hrs a day
and mabe eat dinner with them some time to.
then i am talk with them Thursday and then see what happens.
will that is all happen to me right now.
I am get involved in my writeing .
And quit looking for a man to come in my life and see what
And go to church with a lady that has ask me and see what
And get on here and write more and more and see what happens.
I feel that i need to do this.
And see what happens.
And write like crazy.
And my care giver said she help me with my grammer and get better
I need that to .
I live along ways where I grew up.
I meet a lady that my dad went to school.
And made me feel good.
That I am learn about him .
The dad that I really did not know.
So it is differnet to have her in the apartment place.
And some one that sees me differnet then the other people
and that she been with my dad long time ago.
And then she has help me grow.
And to get my self out of my self .
And back to write again and that makes me feel so good.
I am feel differnet . Since I meet her.
And get pictures of him.
And share with my Son and Grand kids and get me on to write about there
Grandpa and my dad .
And get out of my self and work on things.
I live with older people in theres 50-80
And they are bullies to.
I can not belive that.
I go to a Rec Room for the apartment place.
And I am in my 50's and they bullie me.
And don't like what I wear, make up, clothes.
And if I don't bring my walking stick .
They get on me that i need to bring it.
They yell at me to get ready of my cat.
They are on me the freinds I have.
And who I can see and can not .
And watch me all the time.
And it is getting so bad some time.
I hide in my apartment . So I don't have to deal what
they have to say.
I am so tired of it and can not deal with it some time
Does that happen to you to?
I am so tired of it.
You no the Hoildays are comeing
And that is so hard for people that
have depression and lonelyness.
Will I am be in and out and then leave
me a message and I will write to you.
And then you will not be alone for
Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years.
I am here.
It is so hard when I sit here and have no one/
And empty tree with out present is the hardest
thing I every have done.
So you need to talk to someone .
I will be check in and see if any one wrote me
Have a nice Hoildays
I kinda got the blues.
And I like to meet some one
that take me to show.
And then buy my own dinner.
But I am shut in and it is hard
to meet some one .
And can not walk to far.
So sit here on the computer.
And I have meet a lot of people
on here but they are long ways.
And looking close to where I live.
But you no i learn.
The more you talk about it
some one really come in to your life
and it sure happen.
And it comes in 3 's and it is funny
I thought I be with out apartment because miss understand and i could not deal with that.
It would be hard for me to deal with out a home.
But to face in thing . I can now. And to understand it will not be that bad.
It taught me it would be rough to be with some where to leave.
It taught me to get the key to the apartment and have some thing.
When you have to give your 30days is long time and in thing could happen and the other pereson can deside they wanted there apartment back and never wanted to fell that you dont have a place to leave.
It is so hard to feel that.
That I can face in thing .
But to be with a apartment is to rough for me and taught me a lesson about it.
I thank God give me another changes to have apartmen.
I am free and I am not in the cold looking for place to stay .
My Dad all ways said it work out in the wash.
And it did.
It worked out .
And i am so glad.
Now I can breath better .
But still looking for place to leave.
But can stay here untill I can find some where to go .
Thankyou for all that help me .
See what happen to day and see what happen one day at time.
I just sit here and leave one minuted at at time .
I just one day at time and see if I don't get kick out of here.
And just waited to know what happens.
I am scared to know what happens.
i wanted to wish you happy 4 th july.
i i will mostly be on here most of the day if you need to talk.
i am doing better and i think will stay at the apartment untill i find some place.
thank you for help and write to me .
have a nice happy 4 th july.
it is like a attorney it is free to people that don't have in money.
And talk to some one of kick me out of my apartment .
Until i can find some place to leave.
with the illness i have i can not talk to know one with out some one been there.
i don't understand what is happen very good. and it is hard for what is going on for me.
So i am trying to deal with it.
The medicine is helping me and that is good .
i have bad moment some time but they get better if i talk to people.
i get scared when i am by myself.
So i am trying to deal with what i can.
But the way i understand they can not kick me out of here even if they wanted to .
until i try to find some place to leave . i am packed . but i am fill out appellation and find out what to do .
I am scared but that is getting better.
So i am trying to hang in there.
i will let you know what goes on and say.
I feel good about what is happen.
i mint not have place .
But I feel peacefull and i feel good and not much i can say.
i am doing the best i can.
With the illness i have Bipolar , Schriophina and then i can not do in thing.
I am not wanted to get to upset i can go in a mantic state that i get really hight and then i get really sick and then hit the low and can not move and can not be there.
I have worker tht is working on it and she is take care of it.
So i feel ok and clam and i dont have to do in thing.
i had no family for long time.
And i am see why now.
Family get in voled in your stuff and you don't do it there way they get mad.
It is bad .
They don't listen to you .'
And mine is tell me what to do and to listen to them.
And i learn not to wish for some thing you mint get you mint get it.
I have not had family and now it is bad.
And we lost each other because i will not listen to them.
And it is sad.
I wish some time family would stay out of my bussinness and then they wanted to help.
So I don't have them at the moment .
Because I did not do what they wanted me to do .
And my Cousin think his Wife is doing good .
When she is not listen to know one in say that i said to her.
when i am understress i have black outs.
And then i dont know nothing.
i can not remember in thing.
it is bad.
And i am going to deal with the apartment one and now i am have that.
so i am scared and i am try to do my best.
Talking on here helps lot and some time when it dont happen i get lonely and have hard time but i can talk to some one help me thougth the rough times.
I mint be homeless that I have told over and over I talk helps it get out and deal what is happen to me.
And make me understand what is going to happen to me.
I can not understand why it happen.
But I am deal with it.,
And things dont happen for a reason .
So there is reason this happens .
So things will work out I think.
So just have to have hope . And it is alot to ask for .
But i am learn alot about hope.
And that is the way things go.
Talking to someone helps me lot and just talk to someone and not be by myself and listen to musica and some time it is not hot .
Is to walk and see what you see out side.
And relised you arenot all by your self and they are not going to let you get hurt and things will come out of it.
waited and see and write and write and just get the feelings out .
yes i thought i had apartment and then put my 30days in the old appartment and they say i have place to leave if it all fails at the other place . That was lie.
Now i am homeless.
And what am i going to do .
I am have stress headackeys and i dont know what i am going to do .
So ipray this work out .
i get a apartment and worked out .
And every thing.
If it is not one thing it is another.
I am scared of not have place to leave . but what else could happen.
Just look for a nother place to leave and look for .
i try not to cry over this .
but i dont think this is far.
i will find out the end of the week what is happen.
please pray for me.
A Guy made choose to not to wear no helmet when he rode a motorcycle and drink and he got in wreack and then he is in nurse home for the rest of his life .
And he has a Wife and 2 daughter and now he is now crept for life.
And that got me to Thank for all my blessings.
And that is what happen some time when we make chooses.
Previous PostsI like this man on Internet. And he don't write me to much, posted June 21st, 2013, 2 comments
I hate noise and what it does to me, posted April 20th, 2013
I thought i would get make over, posted March 5th, 2013
I am getting involved in my writeings, posted February 7th, 2013
I live along ways away from home, posted February 7th, 2013
Older people are bullie to, posted February 7th, 2013
Sitting here think of the Hoildays, posted October 11th, 2012
I kind got the blues, posted September 18th, 2012
Hi I am back and how are you all, posted July 8th, 2012
I can face in thing in my life but been with out a apartment I can not, posted July 9th, 2009
I am free. and it work out in the wash, posted July 9th, 2009, 2 comments
Live one day at time, posted July 6th, 2009
I wanted to wish you all a happy 4th juyly, posted July 3rd, 2009, 3 comments
Going to talk to some legale aid and see what they say, posted July 1st, 2009, 3 comments
I feel good about what is happen, posted June 29th, 2009, 2 comments
some time it is better not to have family, posted June 29th, 2009
i am under lot of stress i have black outs, posted June 29th, 2009
Talking on here helps lot., posted June 28th, 2009
just because some one told me to put my 30days noticed in and i am be homeless, posted June 28th, 2009, 2 comments
The choose we make., posted June 26th, 2009
Feel so lonely, posted June 25th, 2009
seem like I am lost., posted June 25th, 2009
I have more angry show up, posted June 24th, 2009
I mint not have place to leave, posted June 24th, 2009, 2 comments
I have this cat that like to tear paper up, posted June 18th, 2009
I don't know me and what I wanted out of life, posted June 18th, 2009
do pretty good, posted June 17th, 2009, 1 comment
went to check on the apartment, posted June 17th, 2009
So far things are working out., posted June 16th, 2009
things hard time to understand some time, posted June 15th, 2009
I am really stress over this move, posted June 15th, 2009, 2 comments
Trying not to be scared of moving, posted June 13th, 2009, 6 comments
I trying to lose weight, posted June 10th, 2009
I am tryingto find myself, posted May 9th, 2009, 2 comments
i am on my own, posted May 3rd, 2009
New rules if the cat gets out you are in trouble., posted May 2nd, 2009
I wanted to be one way and other people dont wanted me to be that way, posted May 2nd, 2009
My plain is to go to session 8 and get in the program and move have to move., posted April 30th, 2009
jRules have change and My cat is not going to obey them., posted April 29th, 2009
I sit here and think my Dad is gone wonder if he be proud of me, posted April 29th, 2009
I have change to get job, posted April 29th, 2009
I am glad i am out of abuse relinships, posted April 28th, 2009
i am going on the changles to walk every day, posted April 27th, 2009, 1 comment
I been sick and doing better, posted April 25th, 2009, 5 comments
I am doing ok. But some time get in that road, posted March 23rd, 2009, 2 comments
my ship is finally come in, posted February 28th, 2009
Feeling better, posted February 27th, 2009
I finally got a computer at the home, posted February 25th, 2009
My cousin found me, posted February 14th, 2009
Some time you have to let people know how you feel, posted February 11th, 2009, 1 comment
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